FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Al Gore Exhales Hot Air at Oscars
On Monday evening, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research reported that Gore’s 20-room mansion in Nashville, TN guzzles nearly 20 times the energy of the average American home, according to records obtained from the Nashville Electric Service. Since An Inconvenient Truth was released, Gore’s home energy consumption has increased by over 13%. Al Gore, who took more than a month to concede his loss to President George W. Bush in the Presidential election of 2000, has spent the past year promoting his film, making frequent use of private jets. One cross-country flight in a private jet produces nearly double the amount of carbon dioxide produced by an average American in an entire year.
William Zachary, Chairman of W Ketchup, reacted: “Liberals are people who like to tell other people what to do, but don’t apply the same standards to themselves. A few days after Speaker Pelosi requested a military jet to fly her 152 miles to the Democratic retreat in Williamsburg, she called for US green house gas emissions to be cut in half. Now we have Al Gore telling Americans to reduce their energy use, while increasing his own. We look forward to Gore’s movie on Global Cooling, due out as soon as trendy scientists change their mind about the weather, again.”
Last week, acting Cuban Tyrant Raul Castro recognized the efforts of former Vice-President Gore to the Union of Young Communists newspaper. Experts observed it is rare for Cuba to officially praise American politicians. Gore’s movie was shown on Cubanís official television channel, the only channel permitted by the Communist dictatorship.
W Ketchup CEO Dan Oliver commented: “In the last two elections, statements from Al Qaeda echoed certain candidates from the Democratic Party. Now we have the American continent’s last Communist country echoing Al Gore. We’re unsure if America’s enemies are copying the Democratic talking points, or if it’s the other way around.”
No matter how warm or cool planet Earth becomes, W Ketchup will continue to provide Americans with smooth, delicious ketchup, made only from ingredients grown and produced in America.
Founded in 2004, W Ketchup™ is a private company that makes ketchup